It's so nice to have you back where you... belong?

Back at home.
Every time is harder to come back. And this damned silence it’s driving me crazy!
I love my apartment and I love my husband and my cat, but I hate this town. I feel so desperately lonely that I feel like I need to scream with all the air that can fill my lungs.
Yesterday I did. Then I was scared that my neighbors could get worried about me, but nobody knocked at the door. Nobody cares here. Only my husband is there. Even for him is hard to ask and try to know more about human beings and their souls.
I turned on the TVs. I have 3. One is in my bedroom; other is in the living room and a very small b/w in my kitchen. That noise gives me the illusion of company, of people around. Even if I mute I still can hear that buzzing of the TV turned on.
I miss my sisters like if I had some part of my body missing. I just want to know that they are present in the same room. Even if they are somewhere else I feel so at peace knowing that they will come back home at night. It’s like the buzzing of a muted TV. You can’t hear the noises but you know it’s on, and that comforts you.
The truth is that nobody will come back to our apartment tonight with a new stupid, sad, happy, nonsense, important, mean, nice, or funny story to tell while having tea. I won’t hear the tick-tick-tack of my mom while she knits some sweater and I won’t laugh looking at my dad falling asleep in front of the TV. My youngest sister won’t scare a hell out of me with some nonsense fear of failing some test at the university, and I won’t see my other sister’s face to try to see through that mysterious sadness that keeps her so far away from everybody.Should I come back home? The answer is no. I can’t go back looking for another opportunity. That’s not an option and I can undo the path I’ve walked already. I can’t go back, I have to look forward and someday, when I don’t need to ask for another chance, I will take my husband, my cat, my guitar and my books and will look for a small house in MY land. Because I might have changed the address and I might be sleeping under a different sky, but my soul is still wondering and there nothing that can erase the birthmark of The Andes from it.