Friday, June 15, 2007

Dizzy


Sometimes life takes you by surprise.
I'm used to it though.
The only thing different this time is how good or bad is the surprise.
I always tell my friends:
"Life wants you to move forward and if you don't, she pushes you... and hey, Life doesn't have soft hands and it hurts"
.
I talk because of my own experience. That is why I'm not fond of comfort zones. Every time I get too cozy and I don't want to move I get one of those pushes and it has always hurt and left me bruised.
It has always been for the better though. That is how I ended up marrying this man so "unusual" and moving to a country I never even dreamt of visiting.
That is how I've learnt so many different things and how I've meet so many different and interesting people. The key is to know that is always scary, it always terrifies you, and there is always people around you quick to advice and tell you all the possible things that could go wrong; but beyond all that you must never freeze and let it take control. Just know that you are stronger than all of that.
On the last few days I received Life's visit once again. Yeap, one of those.
It was my husband's birthday and I had to cook something really light and special at the same time because the only time that we could be together was after his job at around 11 pm. It got me very depressed and mad at the circumstances and I was thinking about the best way to make the changes I needed in my life when the phone rang. I got offered a really good job as the assistant to the Director of a Research Center at the Local University. Of course I said yes immediately but I still have to go through the whole selection process and put up with the bureaucracy necessary to make this thing work out.In the meantime I'm all dizzy and I'm kind of trying to be patient and hope for the best. I keep on thinking on the worst case scenario and trying not to freak out. I haven't been able to calm down yet and I'm enjoying every single minute of it.

Monday, June 04, 2007

After the storm


A lot of time and lots of things have happened:
1.- My sister went back home with my mom who was missing her an awful lot.

2.- Well, that darn conference has passed and finally I feel like I can breathe again.
As a matter of fact, last month most of what I’ve done is sitting down and just enjoying the silence and the calm.
It was hard at first. My sister left so the clam was even harder to process in my brain, because it got tangled with the feelings of missing her. So I was relaxed but I wasn’t happy.
Now I feel better though.

3.- I got a new neighbor and she is the sweetest lady. She has a little dog and we have a lot of things in common. Like me she spends a lot of time by herself so we agreed that if we were feeling lonely we would visit each other. She was struggling to remove the periwinkle that was growing like crazy all over the place so I went and help her clean up a section of her garden so she can plant some herbs and vegetable if she feels like it. A couple days later she came over with a present. Knowing that I love cats and I love tea, she gave me a teapot in the shape of a kitty cat.

4.- I’m looking for another job. Yes I love my job now, but I have to admit: I’m not moving forward. I’m not learning much and I think that my time here is over. I feel like I have so much to give and nobody has been able to exploit all that capabilities hidden inside me. I feel I can be a lot more but I lack of the stimulation that can ignite my creative self. Also there is another problem. I don’t have health Insurance. My husband does but he has to work weekends and holidays and I’m sick and tired of spending my holidays and weekends alone. So I want to get a job with Health Insurance so my husband can quit this other job and look for something better.

5.- I started sewing and cooking. I’m finally starting to do more crafty stuff. I love craft but just now I’m giving myself time to dedicate to my hobbies.
I’ll publish pictures of the apron I made later.