Mixed Signals

Sit tibi terra levis,
originally uploaded by Manel

This morning I ended up at one of NPR blogs and althought was a very blah one I found great links to better blogs.
I'm one of those people that never have enough. I go home after work and spent long hours sitting on front of my laptop browsing, reading, browsing some more and reading yet more. I'm constantly looking for good blogs, that are not too pretentious, but are fun to follow. So far my favorites are the ones I have linked in this page, but I have to admit that I can't be one day without checking the feeds from Tara Hunt. She is in big part to blame for at least half of my anxiety (the other half is my fault plus other blogs I read as well). When I read her blog and I see how fast she has achieved so many great things I look at my fat reflection in the mirror and I realized that I've spent the whole afternoon on my computer and achieved nothing. So I get this super loud voice yelling at me:
- You are wasting your life away... AGAIN!!! Three years in the Midwest didn't teach you anything???!!
-Well, is not like I know what I want to do.
- Are you sure??? Because as far as I know I'm the voice in your head and it's a little crowded over here.
-What do you mean.
- I can't believe you are pretending not to notice. You are so pathetic when you do that.
- Hey! Who gave you the right to talk to me like that! You are living in my head, remember? I demand respect, or else.
-Or else?
- Yes, or else. I own my head and I can get you evicted anytime if I want to.
- Hahaha. That is funny. I know my rights and I also know that if you try to get rid of me I have enough material to leave you with your head like you want but also with no will to do anything productive from then on. Remember, after all the neglect you have subjected this place to I get to take with me your will and your (almost unused) creative power. I would leave you with only your sad conformity and you'd become another little ant walking around, totally unmissed by anyone.
- Hummm... well, we don't need to yell at each other like this after all. You know very well I wouldn't evict you anyways. That is just the frustration talking.
- Which brings me back to the point that is very crowded in here.
- And that brings me back to the part where I don't get what you are talking about.
- When I first started living in here so many years ago, everything was great. Life was simple and I had a huge yard to enjoy the growing of ideas and the development of the neighborhood. But from some time to this point the development has gotten way out of control. Now I don’t even get to sit outside to see ideas growing on the yard. You started building around this property so much that now my yard has become a high traffic area for the handful of shady tenants you’ve got. The soil is still fertile but the ideas tree never gets to ripen any fruit. That lady, the one that looks like has never taken a shower in her life comes over and steals them when they are only green! Yes, that what her name?
- Frustration?
-Yes! That one! Filthy bitch. And that is not all!! I can’t stand the noise anymore. This guy, Anxiety. He seems a quiet fellow and I thought everything would be ok. But every day and night he is working with his obnoxious power tools doing who knows what, but I can’t hear my own thoughts. With all that noise every little thing I try to do has to be stoped because nothing is enjoyable anymore. And so many more of those low-life are coming to invade my privacy that I’m seriously thinking of relocating, but I tell you: I do that and you better forget about the yard because none of these assholes is going to take care of it and most likely in less of a month this will be a desert and you will have to build some parking lot instead. That will please so much that fat idiot that has been trying to put that business here for so long. That fat Complacency guy.
- I swear, I noticed things were going down, but I try to keep up. It’s not easy when there so much going on in my life.
- Listen, this is not my problem. It’s really yours, and you better fix it… or else.

Amanda is still on

I was wondering where Amanda Congdon went. I knew her blog was about to retire but I never checked back what happened. I'm very pleased to discover she is still on business and I loved this interview in particular.
I think is very disturbing that people close their eyes and cover their ears to what is really happening out there. In this country we hear constantly the word "freedom" but what is freedom really? I don't think people really understand the value of this because most of them don't understand what it is like to be without freedom.

Words in Wartime

hulk angry,
originally uploaded by owenbooth.

My husband gets really mad everytime he hears anybody calling a regimen fascist. Most of the time is just the wrong word and has nothing to do with the message that wants to be put accross. I found this very interesting article where Joseph Sobran talks about it.
Sometimes people just wants to show their anger and uses anything that sounds ugly enough. Sometimes to show the frustration many throw the Hitler comparissons on the table too.

"The Left has been using fascism as a cussword since the days of Hitler and Mussolini. It was already very old and weary by the time it was annexed to Islam. But what’s fascistic about al-Qaeda, unless fascist just means a form of politics I don’t like, which doesn’t take us very far toward understanding what it is?"

Thanks Owenbooth for the awesome picture of the angry Hulk.

Hard Sale

We finally reached that point and my husband invited me to go and look for a new car. I've mentioned lately that I would like to have a 4WD, mostly because of the mountains. I love to go on trips crossing the mountains but the weather not always is nice and in those opportunities I wish I had a 4WD, so I wouldn't have to get off the car and put chains and freeze my hands off. Also it gives me a (maybe totally false) sense of security. Being trapped on top of the mountains in a snow storm surrounded by semi trucks is far from being desirable.
I've been thinking of going for a Subaru because is not flashy and it has a good mileage. I'm not a Hummer person. I'm more of a Mini Cooper sort of girl. I love that they are so small and minimalistic and yet they have the sport side that gives me a little of an adrenaline rush. They say "I'm small but I'm still kicking your ass". The Hummer in my opinion only says "I'm huge, expensive, SOOOO not fuel efficient, and the guy that drives me is a complete asshole". Unfortunately a Cooper might not do very well in the conditions I described before.
I heard on Car Talk that a Subaru Legacy is less fuel efficient than a Forester so I decided to go for the last one. I'm also fond of Honda because they are a very good quality vehicle and I was sort of curious about the new CR-Vs.
SO I went for a little trip to the car dealers and my first stop was Honda. And here comes my horror story. As soon as I got off the car a sales person immediately greeted me. I told her I was very reluctant to buy anything but I was curious to see what was on the market. She immediately went off to show me the sedans. The problem, I explained, is that due to control issues I like to drive a manual transmission. She explained to me that they did not have these in Sedan and proceeded to show me the CR-V. It was beautiful, all I ever dreamed off and the smell was so good. She must have notice my delight because in no time I had the keys and I was going out for a test drive. Soft soft drive.
I was confused by the clean ride, I'm so used to do hard changes with the transmission that it was very hard for me to figure out with this one which gear was I getting into. But I absolutely loved it. And that was the end of the nice experience. As soon we were done I became a hostage. I was their pray and they would not let go until getting every single drop of my blood. I was scared and wanted to run away. For some sick and perverse reason my husband was actually enjoying himself. He was so amused by the way they kept on lowering the numbers every time I told them I would not buy the car before going home and think about it first. They offered me numbers and more numbers, and I started to feel dizzy and more confused every time. Then they offered me to give them my own numbers and I was about to throw up. Then the guy told me to just take the car home for a week trial! I didn't know they would do such a thing which would explain the enormous amount of car without a license plate in this town. Then I panic! I look up to my husband begging with my eyes for some help to get out of that nightmare but he was having way too much fun. I then said the most horrible thing a car salesperson would ever want to hear:
-I'm sorry, but I'm not taking the car on trial. My dad would always say to me "Bad fortune lies on borrowed things" and I don't need bad fortune. I will go home and think about it while I check my finances. I know that lots of Americans live their lives in debt but I can't live that way.
The guy left and I was able to escape.
I checked my watch, I had spent 3 HOURS IN THERE!!!
My husband asked me if I was up to visit Subaru but there was no way I would engage in another hard sale. I felt like run over by a train and I was physically exhausted. My husband understood and took me home right away where I felt asleep like a baby.
I think I'm holding on to our Honda Civic for another good while.

...both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate

Well, it has been quite a long time since something grabbed my attention enough to awake the obssesive unbalance that lies beneath my thoughts. After a boring Saturday I decided to rent "V for Vendetta". I wasn't really interested and my expectations were really low since I saw the name of the Wachowski Bros. among the credits. Nothing against the Matrix, the first one at least. I remember when I saw that movie for first time at the theater. It was such an experience! At that point I was also practicing under a strong discipline a form of Kung Fu and the moves and choreographies went right to the center of my heart. I was alucinating when I left the theater and I would come back to the same place to see it again and again. But then, the Matrix Reloaded happened and I completely hated it. There was something wrong about the way it was done and about the scenes, and my sisters fell asleep while watching it. Not even Keanu Reeves handsomeness was capable of keeping them awake. I was terribly dissapointed and I didn't even bother to go to see the 3rd one. Then I heard about this woman suing WB and the Wachowski Bros. for plagiarism and I tend to believe her due to the big difference between the first movie and the sequels. I read somewhere that it had to do with the fact that when the other 2 movies were being made the mind of one of the brothers simplely wasn't there.
Anyhow, I went for this movie mostly because I heard somebody telling me it was good and because the famous Brothers were not really directing nor were the creators of the story.
Boy I regret not seeing it in the big screen. I absolutely felt in love with the character, and the story and I love the questions raised mostly on the grounds of ethics. But above all the music of the language interpreted with such maestry by the incomparable voice of Hugo Weaving.
It was music, and I've been obssesed with it since.
Also this has brought a lot of debate between my husband and I regarding old english, Macbeth, Shakespeare, Don Quijote, and the use of language in general. So far I've seen the movie more than 3 times and I still love it.
Darn it! It's very late but I have so much more to talk about regarding V for Vendetta so I'll continue another day. In the meatime as a homework get the movie and enjoy as I did.

Antique Show

This is one of my guilty pleasures. I love Antiques!
This weekend there was an antique fair 2 blocks from my house and I found this amazing stand from this Chinese fellow with the most beautiful little things. I bought this tea kettle and my husband got the lock that appears on the back. Love them both!

Some Spirit Lifting

Today I woke up with the absolute and firm decision to not let the horrible events from yesterday to linger in my soul. So I went ahead and started with one of my frequent visits to Alice Peacock website and listen to this wonderful song that always makes me feel so grateful of being alive. It reminds me of the wonderful things I have and the blessings I've received. It has become some sort of battle song. Everytime I'm sad, upset or dimotivated I click on her website and listen to that song. She wrote it for a friend of hers that was suffering from cancer and inspiring her and many others with her wonderful attitude.
There are so many people that I've learnt to appreciate and when I'm feeling weak or down I raise my thoughts to them because they are an example of strength for me and I feel ashamed of my weakness when I think about them. Some of them are: my parents who fought against so much adversity and still taught me to try to always be a good person leading by their own example; my friends Laura and Karina that work 3-4 jobs to get to the places where they want to be with the people that they love; my sisters that through so much hardeness still get the strenght to become the most amazing women I know; my husband who is uncapable of one selfish thought and is the most good hearted person I've ever known in my life; my godmother that become a renegade from her family and the style of life she always knew to follow the true love of her life and built her own world from zero; and so many others.
There is still hope, and Life is still wonderful.