Thursday, October 13, 2005

The imposible Dream

Our brain is a wonderful, misterious and amazing machine almost imposible to understand.
On Monday I had a massage. Oh boy! That is a whole different world. I was enjoying myself, sitting on that chair and letting this complete stranger to press every muscle. All of the sudden she press an specific point behind my ears, closer to the back of my neck. It was automatic. Ilaughed without beiing able to control the impulse. She thought I was thinking of something funny,but I wasn't. It was like if I had a special "laughing button" that she happened to press. I wonder how many other spots with similar reactions we have in our bodies. Nerves connected to our brain programmed to rect in different ways to different touches.

And today I noticed something else that amazed me. I got a membership for this Napster thing. I started looking for that music that I rarely hear on the radio. I found among many other things the soundtrack from the Bradway show "The Man of La Mancha". I played the song I like the most (The impossible dream) and as soon as Brian Stokes Mitchell started singing, my eyes got full of tears and I had a very annoying knot in my throat. I tried listening the song again later on, but the same reaction happened. It's almost imposible for me to listen to the song without crying. Something is connected to my brain that gets activated by this song.

Our brain will never stop being a mistery.

This morning it was summer

I'm sorry. I'm so tired.
I can't believe I'm doing this.
I need to go to bed.
I'm working 15 hours a day.
I'm so exhausted.

I'm going to bed missing all my friends.

Saturday, October 08, 2005

You Gotta be

You gotta be strong...
Things are getting tough. I got a daytime job finally. I'll be working for about a month as a receptionist and thenI will start all over again looking for a more definitive job.
Now I'm working 2 jobs. It's hard but one keeps my brain busy (sort of) andthe other keeps my body moving. Both are low pay but at least I will be able to take care of my bills and the the huge debt caused by the moving to the West.

I always admired the people that can do that. Woking 2 jobs to be able to make a decent living. I don't know how they are able to keep it together but I guess I'll figure out now.

I wish I could quit my second job. It's so mindless, but I need all the money I can earn for now. That way at least I will have a few bucks to enjoy life a little bit.

Monday, October 03, 2005


I could say I've been lazy about this blog but the truth is that I've hardly had time to pay attention to it.
It took a couple weeks after I got to this western city to get a phone line and then some more to get the internet conection working. The good thing is that I live just a couple blocks from the telephone company and therefore I have an unbelievable fast conection. I love it!

The apartment where I live it's nice, but I have conflicted feelings about it. It's a very Old but pretty house that it's surrounded by 3 buildings.
On the right there is an "Hotel" that in my opinion doesn't look very reputable. The first week we got here my husband saw what he though it was a guy trying to pee inside his own truck. It was weird because the guy was outside the truck with the dooropen and kind of leaning forward, just like if he was peeing. When looking more carefully the guy realized my husband was there and tried leaning forward a little further. It turned out to be that it wasn't peeing. In fact he wasn't doing much, somebody else was doing it for him.
On the left we have some sort of "apartment complex". Each apartment is tiny enought to have a bed, TV, a refrigerator and a microwave inside. The rent is month to month and it's only $400. Some of the people that lives there looks terribly shady and I don't like them. When I was moving in I witnessed a fight between some of them. It was just the first day here.
On the back of the building, just crossing the street there is another building. Very nice too. It looks brand new and very sophisticated. I couldn't believe it when I found out that only people that makes less than $17,000 a year can live there.

The apartment has hardwood floor. It's such a wonderful thing. I love it. I never lived anywhere with hardwood floors and it's fantastic. But other than that It was a big mess here. When we arrived I spent almost 2 weeks just cleaning and organizing. The bathroom and the kitchen were disgusting and the windows where just tinted with filth. It wasn't like I had any choice because I had the truck loadded with my stuff waiting outside the door so I pretty much was stuck with signing the lease.
The landlord is a joke. He simplely has no idea what is going on here. All the repairs that we have pending he seems to have forgotten. I really do not like him but again, I'm stuck with him at least until spring when I'm sure I'll move to another place, even if it doesn't have hardwood floors.

During the last weeks I've been trying to make this place more comfortable and at the same time trying to learn to sew. I made a wonderful set of curtains for my kitchen. Green checkers I believe is the name of the pattern. There are pretty but I can tell I have lots to learn.
I wish I was like my mom. All the years we lived together and I never appreciatted the things she was capable of doing. She knows sewing, knitting, crochet, embroidery, etc. I can't think of one of those craft that she can't do at a master level.
I wish she was here with me now so she could teach me these things and we could do so much stuff together.
Here is a picture of a piece she just finished a few days ago. She was still working on it at the time the picture was taken though. The technique is called crewell. I do not know how they call it in America, I believe is neddlepoint but I'm not sure.

Saturday, July 30, 2005

The end of times

It's hard to believe but it's happening.
There is a change and it's a big one.
I'm moving!!

Yes I Am!!
I can hardly believe it but the Goundhog Day Spell is about to be broken.
I'm moving to a much more vibrant city on the West with a lot more things going on.
I'm leaving the Midwest for good. It's just like a dream!

My friends are very sad and I'm also sad about leaving them behind. But the excitement of this new adventure is so much bigger than that!

However I don't think I will change the tittle for this blog. It has so much history and mysticism.

Goodbye Midwest!!!

Saturday, March 12, 2005

Rainy days

This is one of those weeks that you'd wished to skip.
Everything is going upside down.
On Monday my husband lost his job. Yeah... now we are really poor because the little money he has in his checking account we have to use it to pay the credit card.
I don't earn a good salary so it's getting tough to pay the bills and get the groceries all together.
My husband is looking for a temp job while finding something that he really wants to do in the IT field. I want him to do what he really wants to do and not to waste days of his life doing a job he hates... like I do.
As you can guess, the ideal would be for him to find a job out of Ohio. Hopefully near from a real city. I just want to get out of here!!!
I'm not really sad about the fact he lost his job. I see it as an opportunity to escape from this experiment of town. This is like a trap from where I will never be able to get out.
I've been thinking of going back to my country. I'm so disappointed of USA. It's not what I imagined and people are not what I thought it would be. I haven't seen anything that can impress me and I know is not the place where I want my children to learn values. I want them to learn compassion and that money is not the ruler of your decisions in life. I want them to learn to love their family more than anything in the world.
Don’t get me wrong. There are wonderful people here but the few idiots that can ruin your day seem to stand up on top of everything.
I don’t understand why everybody keeps talking about freedom and liberty. I feel as free of speaking my mind as I was during the years of dictatorship in my own country. I have to be careful with every little word because there is always the possibility of hurting susceptibilities. They talk about values and pro-life and moral, while killing people in the death row and calling to hate homosexuals and anyone that thinks different.
Maybe I just came here in a very bad moment.

Friday, January 07, 2005

I can't believe it...

... but finally it's Friday night!
This week has been crazy and so freaking demanding. I just hate it.
I've been so busy that is pitifull. The new girl at work is very talkative and at least I have somebody to talk to. The other guy is there too and also is friendly, but I don't have very much in common with him.
I was affraid that now that I've been promoted they will be more distant with me and they might feel a little intimidated. It's too soon to judge and too busy to even pay attention, but I hope they feel comfortable with me.
I just found out something terrible. My new coworker brought his father to live in Ohio with her and her husband. He left this morning and hasn't came back yet being 8:30pm.
She is really worried. He left without the car, without leaving a note or whatsoever. If he hsan't came back by the time she returns home she will call the police.
Thanksfully this neighborhood were Karina and I live (we live very close from each other) is so quiet that becomes the kingdom of boredom. Nothing happens here. Nothing bad but nothing good either.

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

You've got a friend

this is an audio post - click to play

For all those friends I miss so much right now. I'm just far away but I hope distance will never be a wall between us.

Monday, January 03, 2005

There's A Lull In My Life

I feel tired. Today was so hard to get back to work!
I just don't feel like doing the same thing again. Going to the office and do this mindless job. It's so sad when you don't care about your job anymore.
Also, I'm running out of friends. And now with this new shift that I accepted not even my usual friends have time to talk to me anymore.

I met this really cool girl from Texas that started working with me and I was really enthusiastic about the idea of having a female friend around. My husband is my best friend but sometimes you need a woman's point of view around. The last friend I had moved to Columbus and even when she is a great person, for some strange reason during the last couple months I felt that we were moving in different directions anyways. The other cool girl I met left the job because she got tired of all the crap. And then this new girl came along and we were having so much fun. But now she went back to Texas for Christmas and is not coming back. She told me so in an email yesterday.
I'm kind of happy for her because she is now with her family and God knows that I think that is the most important thing in life. But at the same time I'm starting to feel a little lonely again.

If at least I had my sisters around...

I've been trying to convince my husband to apply for a job in Reno, but he doesn't seem to be putting very much energy in the idea. I feel so asfixiated in Ohio, darn it!!!
That is why my friends left. They couldn't stand this place anymore, they felt like there were going nuts in this experiment of suburbia. I understand. I thought the first year that I would die if I didn't leave in 2 months.

I just wish I could run away right now.