Mixed Signals

Sit tibi terra levis,
originally uploaded by Manel

This morning I ended up at one of NPR blogs and althought was a very blah one I found great links to better blogs.
I'm one of those people that never have enough. I go home after work and spent long hours sitting on front of my laptop browsing, reading, browsing some more and reading yet more. I'm constantly looking for good blogs, that are not too pretentious, but are fun to follow. So far my favorites are the ones I have linked in this page, but I have to admit that I can't be one day without checking the feeds from Tara Hunt. She is in big part to blame for at least half of my anxiety (the other half is my fault plus other blogs I read as well). When I read her blog and I see how fast she has achieved so many great things I look at my fat reflection in the mirror and I realized that I've spent the whole afternoon on my computer and achieved nothing. So I get this super loud voice yelling at me:
- You are wasting your life away... AGAIN!!! Three years in the Midwest didn't teach you anything???!!
-Well, is not like I know what I want to do.
- Are you sure??? Because as far as I know I'm the voice in your head and it's a little crowded over here.
-What do you mean.
- I can't believe you are pretending not to notice. You are so pathetic when you do that.
- Hey! Who gave you the right to talk to me like that! You are living in my head, remember? I demand respect, or else.
-Or else?
- Yes, or else. I own my head and I can get you evicted anytime if I want to.
- Hahaha. That is funny. I know my rights and I also know that if you try to get rid of me I have enough material to leave you with your head like you want but also with no will to do anything productive from then on. Remember, after all the neglect you have subjected this place to I get to take with me your will and your (almost unused) creative power. I would leave you with only your sad conformity and you'd become another little ant walking around, totally unmissed by anyone.
- Hummm... well, we don't need to yell at each other like this after all. You know very well I wouldn't evict you anyways. That is just the frustration talking.
- Which brings me back to the point that is very crowded in here.
- And that brings me back to the part where I don't get what you are talking about.
- When I first started living in here so many years ago, everything was great. Life was simple and I had a huge yard to enjoy the growing of ideas and the development of the neighborhood. But from some time to this point the development has gotten way out of control. Now I don’t even get to sit outside to see ideas growing on the yard. You started building around this property so much that now my yard has become a high traffic area for the handful of shady tenants you’ve got. The soil is still fertile but the ideas tree never gets to ripen any fruit. That lady, the one that looks like has never taken a shower in her life comes over and steals them when they are only green! Yes, that what her name?
- Frustration?
-Yes! That one! Filthy bitch. And that is not all!! I can’t stand the noise anymore. This guy, Anxiety. He seems a quiet fellow and I thought everything would be ok. But every day and night he is working with his obnoxious power tools doing who knows what, but I can’t hear my own thoughts. With all that noise every little thing I try to do has to be stoped because nothing is enjoyable anymore. And so many more of those low-life are coming to invade my privacy that I’m seriously thinking of relocating, but I tell you: I do that and you better forget about the yard because none of these assholes is going to take care of it and most likely in less of a month this will be a desert and you will have to build some parking lot instead. That will please so much that fat idiot that has been trying to put that business here for so long. That fat Complacency guy.
- I swear, I noticed things were going down, but I try to keep up. It’s not easy when there so much going on in my life.
- Listen, this is not my problem. It’s really yours, and you better fix it… or else.