The Grass is Green

I'm upset.
This time is at myself though.
It seems like I'm uncapable of putting my foot down (new phrase I learned) when it's about the money.
Once again I got set in a job that I can't care less about and earning just enough to cver my needs. This is so stupid.
I've been lucky that I have to deal with nice people that treats me ok, but that doesn't pay my bills.
I come from a culture where you should be grateful you have a job to start with, so it's very hard for me to say "Sorry but this is not what I'm looking for". I feel like I have to always give it a try. It's like a voice in my head that will shout "Don't you dare to let this job oportunity pass by... you are lucky they want you when so many other people is unemployed out there".
That voice coincidentially sounds a lot like my father's.
When I started working (right after high school) I went for a job at a Tennis Club. They were looking for a Programmer (which is what I am) but what they really needed was a secretary that could deal with a Macintosh. It was just for the weekends and holidays. I accepted just to be able to give it a try and because I wasn't sure what it was that they wanted me to do. When I told my father that I hated it and that I was going to quit he yelled at me and he seemed so dissapointed that I didn't last more than a month and that I wasn't willing to try longer. He didn't understand what was wrong with it. That story has haunted me for years till now, and probably will keep on going because I don't seem to find the strength to overpower it.
Right now I'm working doing things I was never interested in doing. Yesterday somebody even asked me to water the plants and I almost burst into tears, not because I think is something too low for me or anything like that, but as I was filling up the watering can I saw me 10 years ago ready for greater things and ready to conquer the world of technology and then I was here again 10 years later filling up a watering can while I paid attention so I wouldn't miss a call.
I think I will stay for a bit on this job while something better shows up. On my part I'm already working to make things happen.The only plants I'm willing to water are the ones in my garden, the rest should never be my bussiness.