Dizzy

Sometimes life takes you by surprise.
I'm used to it though.
The only thing different this time is how good or bad is the surprise.
I always tell my friends:

"Life wants you to move forward and if you don't, she pushes you... and hey, Life doesn't have soft hands and it hurts"

.
I talk because of my own experience. That is why I'm not fond of comfort zones. Every time I get too cozy and I don't want to move I get one of those pushes and it has always hurt and left me bruised.
It has always been for the better though. That is how I ended up marrying this man so "unusual" and moving to a country I never even dreamt of visiting.
That is how I've learnt so many different things and how I've meet so many different and interesting people. The key is to know that is always scary, it always terrifies you, and there is always people around you quick to advice and tell you all the possible things that could go wrong; but beyond all that you must never freeze and let it take control. Just know that you are stronger than all of that.
On the last few days I received Life's visit once again. Yeap, one of those.
It was my husband's birthday and I had to cook something really light and special at the same time because the only time that we could be together was after his job at around 11 pm. It got me very depressed and mad at the circumstances and I was thinking about the best way to make the changes I needed in my life when the phone rang. I got offered a really good job as the assistant to the Director of a Research Center at the Local University. Of course I said yes immediately but I still have to go through the whole selection process and put up with the bureaucracy necessary to make this thing work out.In the meantime I'm all dizzy and I'm kind of trying to be patient and hope for the best. I keep on thinking on the worst case scenario and trying not to freak out. I haven't been able to calm down yet and I'm enjoying every single minute of it.

God is trying to tell me something

Waiting for rebirth,
originally uploaded by access.denied.

I guess.

The other day I was watching just some silly movie and one phrase got stuck in my head: " Live everyday like it was on purpose". And tonight I started watching another silly movie and It turned out to be all about living life to the fullest. It kind of came in a good moment because I really needed some help to appreciate things around me.
Lately I have been feeling a little down.
The usual. I feel like I'm not moving anywhere, like I have no help from anybody and no support. Sometimes I just want for somebody to notice my needs and give me some support or some rest, but most of the time I am the one doing that job for everyone. I kind of have to wait for my turn, but my patience is running thin.
Things have not been easy for me lately. I worked really hard on a holiday party for needy Children and while I was there somebody got into my office and stole a cd player I got from my my kudos at my first job in USA some years ago. It wasn't anything modern, I know, but it had a sentimental value. The guy responsible for this situation didn't even acknowledge the loss and didn't give it any importance. I got so angry. I put him on my sh** list right away. I better don't see his face in a while.
So that was the last straw really, from several days of hard, hard work, little sleep and big efforts to make a happy family, a happy work place and a better world. Sometimes I feel like the only one person that appreciates what I do is my boss, and isn't that somthing weird? Usually is the opposite for most of people.
Now I think God wants me to know that I need to start taking control of my life.
I feel like I'm living in one of those dreams where you need to run but your legs are not moving and your body just doesn't respond, if anything it moves so slowly that you can't go anywhere anyways. Can you wake up from that nightmare anyways?
Maybe I just need to watch another silly movie to hear the answer.